today I had m&m's for the first time in a week and a half! we had to Kigali today to meet with a church group that was flying out and the country director's wife, brenda (who is amazing and the best cook!), made lunch and had them on her table. it reminded me so much of home and I think they were the only m&m's in all of Rwanda :)
the past couple of days have flown by, but they have been so good. I'm homesick in a way and miss my family so much, but still am so thankful/happy to be here. There's times though that i feel like if I here one more "muzungu" im going to cry...but theres other times (which I think that God really uses to soften my heart) when kids will come bounding at you for hugs and I can't even describe the feeling of that. Theres a school for disabled kids behind a stadium that i run by and about 20 of them always come out to say hi in the morning when i run by. By the time they're done I'm always short my headband and a couple of hair ties that they discovered when trying to make sense of why my hair is so different...
so the nights here are really quiet. I've gotten to read alot and its really taught me how to slow my life down alot and not always have to be doing things. I've been reading Mere Christianity by C.S.Lewis and always find quotes that really stand out to me. The other night I read this...
"What I mean is this. An ordinary simple Christian kneels down to say his prayers. He is trying to get in touch with God. But if he is a Christian, he knows what is prompting him to pray is God also: God, so to speak , inside him. But he always knows that all his real knowledge of God comes through Christ, the Man who was God - that Christ is standing beside him, helping him to pray, praying for him. You see what is happening. God is the thing to which he is praying - the goal he is trying to reach. God is also the thing inside him which is pushing him on- the motive power. God is also the road or bridge along which he is being pushed to that goal."
I've never thought of it like that. It makes you think about the fact that when you spend time with Him (and all that is going on) He must really want to be with us. I have the tendenecy to feel like the time and effort i'm spending is one sided and really forget that He wants to be with me more than i want that time. so much of the time i think i dont take the time to let Him tell me that.
so its only 1034 here and I'm pretty much ready for bed lol and this is a late night for me :) (hah im a little lame)