ate: Saturday 13, 2009
Today is my first day in the country and Rwanda in beautiful. It's crazy to think that something so horrible could have happened in a place like this. It doesnt connect. It's hard to be gone. My hosts, Christi and Tom are amazing.I can see God's grace and understanding through them even from just the few hours that I've been with them. Right after the airport, Tom took us to lunch at his favorite Italian place. It was funny to have that as my first meal here...but really good and the most amazing veiw. Then we went to the country director's house in Kilgali. He had some investors from Canada coming to talk about differernt projects they are wanting to invest in. I have a house mate named Nathan(a former intern from uganda...he was just brought into Rwanda to work on a clean water project) was saying that Dwight (the country director) wants to keep pushing for sutainable projects for Rwanda in the places that were hit the worst by the genocide. These areas are currently the poorest and from what I understand have the most potential for growth. Even though these types of projects arent currently being pusued in Uganda (maybe due to the backwardness of the coutnryor the recent change in country director?) Nathan thinks that this will change in the region since dwight has been working on projects.
So even though my hosts are better than I could have ever asked for and the country is so beautiful... its still really hard to be so far away. There are so many people here, just walking in the street and all around, but I feel really isolated. I havent seen another blonde yet in Gitarama lol and i really just wish i knew the language. Even going to the store to get some breakfast food was hard. Tom and Christi took me, but there are so many norms that Im not sure of yet. I dont know how much im really paying for things since the exchange is so different and since the stores are so small I feel like I'm offending the owner when i dont buy anything. They look at you the whole time your there (maybe because Im so white?) AI think its so easy to feel isolated right now, but when i came back to my room i just sat and prayed. I've learned at times when you feel the most stuck and scared God is so quick to come. I've felt like this before when Nicole and I got in an accident last summer. Even though this is a different scared than being strapped into a stretcher, I still feel scared and a little helpless being so far away.
The second I sat down to pray I could feel Him. I think He knows me better than I know me and knows when I need him. I really wanna get over this initial nervousness so I can really begin to see what Hes put in front of me right now and really get to know the people around me. Anywaysss...im sleeping under a mosquito net lol. Im gonna take more pics of the land tomorrow I wanted to today but ran out of batteries!
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Beautiful Beth, I am praying for you sweetheart! I went to Panama last summer for a month and I was lonely and it was wierd being in another country where I didn't fit in and I was so white, but God really showed me that it is wierd only if I make it wierd. A lot of these people in the stores may have never seen such a beautiful blonde haired woman in their life, but also ask yourself how many Christian woman on fire for God who are radiating with his light and love have they seen? Beth it's not only because you are white, but you are a Christian. And people in other countries can see that even if you dont think you are showing it.. they are probably wondering what is she doing here almost like they don't expect americans to come into their country and help them so they aren't sure why you are here... I challenge you Beth that when it feels akward smile at them with your huge beautiful smile that only you have and learn how to say hello and maybe God Bless.. or with the women you could learn how to say you are beautiful! it's little things that you can say and it will amaze people.. yes they may speak another language or be another color but they are all God's children and you get to spend time with them and be the light around them.. Satan is trying to make you feel nervous and out of place.. don't let him! continue to seek God and lean on him. He will bring you the comfort that you need and He will provide for you in ways you have never experienced. Be intentional about your time there you only have two months and it is going to go by so quickly. I want you to read Mark 14:36 and make that your prayer.. He is always with you! I know you have been to a Princess Conference and I'm not sure if you remember when Kimberly had the girls put their hands up in the air and make a fist and then put their fist down by their side and she said that God was always with you and whenever you were going through something you can close your fist and you can know He is holding your hand and He is right there.. don't forget that! I love you Beth and I am so proud of you!
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